Category Archives: bad writing

Emerson on Montaigne

 

Emerson, ‘Montaigne; Or, The Skeptic’

 

I was eager to read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Montaigne; Or, The Skeptic,” which was published in his Representative Men: Seven Lectures (1850). I was disappointed and had a similar experience in reading Emerson that I have discussed in an earlier post:

Non-Sequaciousness (Emerson; also Carlyle)

Non-Sequaciousness (Emerson; also Carlyle)

Among the objectives of my posts on this site is to discuss “bad writing” and why even purportedly good writers fail.

I am very interested in Montaigne. I wanted to know what Emerson had to say about him. On about the seventh or eighth page of the essay, I found what I was looking for.

I found it tough to wade through the long introduction, and I had to dig and “extract” the stuff that I was interested in and the ((to me) salient points from a mass of glowing verbiage.

In his essay on non-sequaciousness (published in 1900) , Patrick Dillon states

… Emerson is, of all modern writers, the least fitted to be relied on as a literary model. The sparks he emits and the shocks he causes are dazzling and exciting; and his ideas are brilliant as the cascade’s spray; but it will be admitted that the effect of such a writer, taken as a model £or literary novices, must be in the last degree disastrous. The youthful mind is vastly inclined to vagueness, and, like Milton’s spirits, “finds no end, in wandering mazes lost.” Whatever, then, tends to encourage this tendency, must be fatal to that ratiocination, which, says Cardinal Newman, “is the great principle of order in thinking, reducing chaos to harmony.

Try reading the first few pages or paragraphs of Emerson’s essay for yourself.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

  November 2023

an obliterated artwork … jejune writing

 

See my post:

an obliterated artwork … jejune writing

 

Roger W, Smith

“The tone is college admissions essay.”

 

“The tone is college admissions essay. Typical sentence: ‘In an environment of maximum pressure, I learned to ignore the noise and distractions and instead to push for results that would improve lives.’ ”

“Every political cliché gets a fresh shampooing. ‘Even in a starkly divided country, there are always opportunities to build bridges,’ Kushner writes.”

— Dwight Garner, review of Breaking History: A White House Memoir, By Jared Kushner, The New York Times, August 17,. 2022

Generic writing, aka boilerplate.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

  August 2022

TOO MANY words

 

When asked by a student once, how long should a composition be, my high school English teacher replied: as long as required to cover the subject; no more or less.

 

*****************************************************

The following is an essay about the invasion of Ukraine by Patrick Le Hyaric, a French journalist, politician, member of the European Parliament, and a director of the newspaper L’Humanité.

“Le monde peut basculer dans le pire d’un instant à l’autre”

By Patrick Le Hyaric

Le monde peut basculer dans le pire d’un instant à l’autre

This opinion piece is far too long. The author says far too much. Which is to say, in other words, he tries to say everything he or one can conceivably think about the subject of his essay. Whereby he ends up confusing the reader and not conveying anything clearly, really. His key points — whatever they are — get lost in a muddle.

— posted by Roger W. Smith

   March 1, 2022

how to say nothing in 1,035 words … generic writing II

 

‘Anxiety About Wokeness Is Intellectual Weakness’

 

This is a type of discourse — writing — often seen in pronouncements by educators (e.g. , university presidents), corporate chieftains, CEOs of nonprofits, and (of course) politicians.

With political statements and speeches, it’s obvious. With the rest, it’s more subtle.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

   November 2021

Can writing really be this bad?

 

Theodore Dreiser, ‘Will Fascism Come to America’ – Modern Monthly

 

Theodore Dreiser

“Will Fascism Come to America?”

Modern Monthly 

September 1934

 

1,602 words

1,602 words too long

And what does this screed have to do with or say about the rise of fascism?

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

   September 2021

bloated writing

 

For he actually desires not to see a new State erected in America—one that may end capitalistic adventure as we have known it—but the present one so altered in spirit, the so-called “pioneer spirit” in industry—as to cease concerning itself so completely and selfishly and exclusively with the individual’s personal advance—to change in fact into one in which the so-called pioneering individual will see himself as a representative not only of himself but of the country and the people and the national resources of the same, an environment out of which and by the reason of the presence of which it is possible for him to become the successful individual that he does become—if and when he so does become. And that is certainly a very different interpretation of the kind of individual success we need and ought to have if we are going to have for very much longer any such so-called democratic government or nation as our American Constitution calls for. For, according to Bridges—and I quoting him exactly—”when you are anti-labor you are anti-American. For to be anti-labor you have to rob people of the right of free speech, the right to strike, to assemble, to petition and protest, and therefore, you have to be fundamentally unconstitutional and so anti-American.” And having watched the quarrels between capital and labor outside the American newspaper and editorial business for forty-eight years I can heartily agree.

— Theodore Dreiser, “The Story of Harry Bridges,” Friday,  October 11, 1940

 

white male privilege (a flawed premise)

 

‘The President is golfing and exercising White male privilege’

 

Re:

The president is golfing and exercising White male privilege

By Robin Givhan

The Washington Post

November 17, 2020

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/11/17/president-is-golfing-exercising-white-male-privilege/

 

This story illustrates a major flaw in constructing a piece of writing: a weak premise. A piece built on no sound premise — in fact, on no real premise at all; on no valid, cogent, or original thought.

A piece that essentially reiterates, using scant evidence, a weak idea or cliché.

Many readers would — I am certain do — agree that Trump is unfit to be president, that he lives a privileged life and seems not to care about people, that it is deplorable; that he appears to spend most of his time — and has done so increasingly in the past few weeks — watching television, tweeting, and, when he leaves the White House, golfing, while for all intents and purposes ignoring the pandemic and doing nothing about it.

It is also indisputable that, until very recently, golfing was (and perhaps in the present day, still is, predominantly) a sport for rich men, most of them white (I would presume); and that until recently golf clubs and courses banned blacks. And, that most golf clubs are still private and expensive — for wealthy males (I presume it is mostly a men’s sport). And, this was undoubtedly even more the case in our past history. It was a sport for the rich, leisured class.

So what?

I see photos of men riding golf carts on the course and think, they can’t they even walk and (maybe carry their bags); and look at the caddie hanging on the back of Trump’s golf cart, and it all looks so decadent, and I don’t like Trump; and why isn’t he governing? Why doesn’t he do his job? I wouldn’t want to join his club (should I be a golfer) or visit Mar-a-Lago.

This tells me a lot about Trump (but I knew it already) and about the lifestyles of some people, but the op-ed does not in the least enlighten me. It is jerry built on the premise that this is all about white male privilege. Well, yes, Trump, is white and is assigned to that artificially constructed racial category. And, yes, he lives a life of privilege and seems heedless about many things he should care about or do something about. But this tells us nothing about white male privilege, or advances our understating of it; and, anyway, white male privilege is a code word used to enshroud weak, tendentious thinking.

Bill Clinton was a womanizer. He had an affair with an intern. Donald Trump is a womanizer and groper (or worse). Using them as my key examples upon which I construct a lead and build my case, I will write an opinion piece about male chauvinism or infidelity? They have a countless number of companions in the crime, and there are so many examples throughout history that such a piece would be meaningless. The only valid piece, approach, would be to begin with the topic of, say, male chauvinism, sexual predators, white privilege, or some such topic, define what is meant by it, and then proceed to show why it is a problem today, how it is not being acknowledged or addressed, etc. It might be a very boring piece, but at least one could conceive of such an approach. But to begin with Trump’s failings and outrageous behavior, and to then assert that this proves something about white male privilege is an a priori unsound and worthless endeavor. It amounts to this writer wanting to prove something — show us: that she is against white male privilege.

Rather than hanging her op-ed on the premise of white male privilege, the author could have merely written a piece — probably illustrated — showing what Trump has been up to in the past few weeks: mostly tweeting baseless complaints about the election having been stolen, watching television, and golfing. Then say that this is ridiculous and shows that he is not governing as he still should be and is, most importantly, not dealing with the pandemic in any way. That is enough to say, and although we already know it, the writer could give specific examples of Trump’s activities since the election and put in her two cents worth. Nothing wrong with that.

It’s as if I wrote an article. The head of the local school system was found to have been cheating for years, embezzling funds and neglecting kids’ education while enjoying luxuries and perks. The premise of my article is that corruption is pervasive; corrupt officials with a sense of entitlement are living a life of privilege and perks and see nothing wrong with this. (I might say, proving nothing, “White men in important positions are committing an awful lot of crime nowadays.”) Corruption has been going on forever, and most people don’t care about it. And so forth. Such an op-ed, though probably true with respect to the broad assertions made, would be worthless, would provide no enlightenment, as opposed to a news story about the official’s crimes, which would at least be informative.

In English composition we were taught the importance of choosing and identifying one’s thesis (main topic). The thesis of this op-ed, as the writer construes it, is white male privilege. A valid, workable and sustainable topic would have been, Donald Trump’s decadent behavior in the midst of a public health crisis in the waning days of his presidency.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

    November 2020

POST UPDATED: generic writing (or how to say nothing in 430 plus words)

 

My post “generic writing (or how to say nothing in 430 plus words)” has been updated with new content. See

https://rogers-rhetoric.com/2020/06/01/generic-writing-or-how-to-say-nothing-in-430-plus-words/

 

— Roger W. Smith

“bombastic prose-poetry”

 

“Moralists come and go; religionists fulminate and declare the pronouncements of God as to this; but Aphrodite still reigns Embowered in the festal depths of the spring.”

— Theodore Dreiser, Dawn: An Autobiography of Early Youth

 

The words (characterization) “bombastic prose-poetry” are not mine. They are from Scott McLemee, “Keeping It Real,” The Chronicle of Higher Education, July 30, 2004.

 

posted by Roger W. Smith

    June 2020